Clementines

"We can only come of age in the cold."
- Bishop Allen

I remember watching an old 20/20 with my mom about a decade ago.  It was all about the new ways that parents "punish" their children.  No more do they spank or put them in time out; instead, they give them a sticker of a cactus ("cold prickly") or a teddy bear ("warm fuzzy").  These stickers are intended to be reminders that certain behaviors are supposed to be bad, while others behaviors can be rewarded.  But instead of using physical reinforcement, parents are trying to be "nicer" to their kids (or something lame like that) by not showing any tough love.  To this day, my mother and I poke fun at the silly "cold prickly" concept.  How will these children ever learn the realities of the world?

For some reason, this story sticks out in my mind.  What does that have to do with the rest of this post?  Maybe nothing.  Maybe something.  I was thinking, however, about how when times are good, we kind of forget to grow.  We casually choose not to remember the hardships that we've overcome to get to that point.  Think about the myriad rock star biopics or sports star news stories.  They started with humble beginnings, only to ascend to superstardom with a little hard work and chutzpah.  Once they got to the top, however, many of them forgot the hurdles they jumped to get there.  This concept shines brightest for me when examined through a Christian lens. 

A lot of people curse God when things go against them.  Others, when life gets them down, pray for God to intercede and take away their pain and woe.  When these people get through their trying times, I'm sure they are initially joyous and thankful to God.  But that joy and gladness gradually dissipates.  At some point, most of us become too proud, too haughty.  We put too much stock in our own abilities and begin to think that we no longer need God or any other deity - we alone are enough.  We have transcended the bad times and made our lives good again.  I'm reminded of that song "God Knows I'm Good" by David Bowie.  In the song, an old lady is trying to steal something from the market by concealing it in her handbag.  She believes she won't get caught because "God knows I'm good."  She thinks He will turn a blind eye since she's so been so pious and ignore the sin.  But when she gets caught, she cries out that "God knows I'm good" and wants Him to look upon her again and save her from punishment.  How interesting to see her wanting Him when it's convenient for her and dissing Him when it's not.  Unfortunately, I believe this situation may be true for many of us.

But here's the main point.  When times are good, we are content.  We do not seek to grow.  We feel no need.  We have reached the pinnacle and don't need to climb any higher.  Things are incredible.  These are the warm times, where it's always sunny with a high of 75.  But those cold times, when problems trouble us and we feel so insecure and unloved, is when we can truly grow.  We learn how to fight through rough times.  We become stronger and self-sufficient.  We find transcendence and meaning through ourselves rather than others.  We learn about what really makes us, us.  We change.  We become a more put together being.  Once we learn how to handle a broken pride, inward pain, sorrow, or what have you, we become something more.  We become closer to reaching our full potential of everything we were meant to be. 

Personal growth is an amazing thing.  It is essential to life.  When issues become overwhelming and we dip into that cold and prickly lifestyle, we can grow.  It's a choice, of course, but it is the perfect time to make it.