Identity

I saw Perks of Being A Wallflower at the Brew and View the other day.  It was absolutely mind blowing.  Super attentive readers will likely note that I also saw Moonrise Kingdom there, a similarly charming movie that made me think and reflect and strive to become a better person.  I don't know what it is about that place, but it consistently churns out quality movie experiences.

Without getting into too much plot (or any plot at all actually), I wanted to discuss my takeaways.  It was, to me, all about identity.  What does it mean to embrace who you truly are?  And how do you figure it all out?  Does it lie in the pleasure gained from "friendship" or "companionship"?  Is it a feeling of excitement in your exploits, or some sort of personal satisfaction?  How do you know when you are extracting the most enjoyment out of something or somebody or yourself?  Do we, at some point, "settle" in our lives?  We aspire to do more, be more, see more, but are instead bound by "comfort" or "stability" or "fear"?  Who are we?  What is our identity?

One of the biggest issues I've seen, both in my life and personal experiences and through stories, is that we tend to fit our identities to meet the approval of another person (or other people).  I think I explored this at some length elsewhere in this space, but it bears repeating.  We are social by nature and want to be with people at most times.  It's difficult to go through life alone, nay impossible.  We pine for human closeness.  We have an insatiable urge for others.  As such, our identity is malleable.  This is not unique to a certain group of people.  The popular girl, the nerd, the teacher, the CEO, everybody is trying to fit into the definitions of other people.

When I was watching the movie, I was thinking about my personal identity.  I am Ryan, yes, but what else is me?  My life is going in a certain direction, but that darn film made me think about all the other directions it would be fun to run in.  I guess the most crucial thing to remember about our identities is that they need to be personal, at least some portion of them.  We need to accept the fact that we are (subconsciously at the very least) shaped by the attitudes of those around us.  But what parts are affected?

I like a certain genre of movies, listen to a certain kind of music, believe in certain principles and values, and have unique ideals.  I'd like to think so at least.  But they've all been inspired by others through the years.  They are constantly being shaped and reformed.

There is no conclusion here, as you can tell by the abrupt way in which I ended.  But it's certainly something to think about.  Are we happy with our identity?  What defines us?