Gifts

One of the questions I asked my students today was "Is it ethically right to give/receive gifts?"  You see, we're reading Into The Wild, which is chock full of transcendentalist concepts and ideals.  Chris, the main character, decided on principle that he wasn't into gifts and would do everything in his power to avoid them.  He felt that they were mere trappings of society, whereby it's socially acceptable to purchase gifts to somehow buy respect.  He felt, as do I, that a person shouldn't be buying things to show how much they care for someone or how much they want to be cared for.  What matters is the content of one's character, one's actions and beliefs, not the size of one's bank account.

I thought pretty intensely about Chris's decision.  It seems, as I was reading the book, that he was mostly talking about gift receiving (though this may not actually be the case...I could have just been reading it incorrectly).  Many people derive a large amount of pleasure from the act of receiving, but I was thinking about giving.  I tend to give gifts because it makes me feel good to do so.  I like making people smile, showing people that I'm thinking of them.  I'm not fishing for return gifts or anything like that; I genuinely just want people to be happy.  Seeing shiny happy people is worth it for me.  It gives me a good feeling inside.  But isn't gift giving then very selfish?  I do it because it makes me feel good and worthy and all.  That's so selfish, right?  I should give gifts not out of that selfishness, that desire to feel better about myself, but, rather, out of complete and utter genorosity.  But how is that possible?  To some end, we are always self-serving.  I don't think we can ever put someone else WHOLLY in front of our own needs and wants and aspirations.  We do things because of the effects they will have on us, even though the results may be far-reaching enough to impact others, even those who are in special need of it.

But still...ethically, is it wrong to give gifts?  We've been taught that selfishness is unethical.  By extension, then, so is gift-giving.  I mean, if you receive no joy whatsoever out of gifting, then is it OK?  But by that token, is it really gifting?  And, further, does this idea apply to everything?  Like, if I eat a Twinkie because it tastes good to me, is that selfish and therefore unethical?  Should I eat prunes and cauliflower because I don't like the taste of those things?

I know I have no answers here.  I didn't even ask all the questions.  I did end up having a pretty good discussion with the students though!