Better Man

"She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man."

I was talking with some colleagues who've been through quite a lot.  Of course, everyone has their own stories to tell and loads to bear, but these recollections were especially gripping, if only because they could have occurred to almost any person in the country.  It's about children and mothers and fathers and the absence of love that may have once been there but has gone completely away.  It's heartbreaking and yet all too common.  I'm the product of such a split, where my mom was left as the sole breadwinner and moral compass and jack-of-all-trades and playtime partner and everything else.  She served two roles, and did so flawlessly and seamlessly, rendering the absence of a "better" half moot.  She is an incredible woman.  Amidst so much other stress and fear and young adult confusion, she guided me on the way to success and, most of all, the conscience and werewithal to take responsiblity and be a strong and sturdy man.

All of this plays into my conversations from last night.  My coworkers are mothers.  They are hardworking and dedicated and loving and focused on providing the best life for their children.  Unfortunately, the fathers of these children are not to be found.  I mean, the way that the discussions went this could be seen as a good thing, but the reality of the situation is that these are mothers and fathers fighting for the children.  The men in both of these stories, as such in my own story, could be characterized as deadbeats, living with their parents well into their 30's, or the father of multiple children with multiple women.  There is no love, and no love lost, between the parties.  The parents have been to court so many times, fighting for their children's well-being.  The women seem well-intentioned while the men appear belligerent and spiteful.  This assumption is not because I'm close with the mothers, however; it was evident in my own life and seems to be the norm in my observances of everyday life.

Why are men so irresponsible?  That's the point of this rambling sans proofreading.  I was disgusted and dumbfounded by the stories I heard.  I know that they're true.  It sucks.  Where does it end?  Does it end?  Can it end?  Is it an endless cycle?  I mean, the boys that I teach are not going to win any father of the year awards.  I'm not trying to rush into any judgment with these guys, but I see the same character traits evident in so many men with little direction, i.e. my own father.

How do I affect change?  That was my thought the whole night.  I didn't know what to do.  How can I change the entire mindset of a whole generation of boys and men (and the generations hitherto as well?)  And then I realized that I already am changing things.  Who knows how many people will notice or care or change on account of me.  But I can positively affect one life.  I can be that man who stands firm and strong and unwavering.  I will be that man.  I can't wait to make that woman happy and glad and comfortable every single day.