Running on Eggshells

"I thought of that old joke: This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, my brother's crazy!  He thinks he's a chicken!'  And the doctor says, 'Well, why don't you turn him in?' and the guy says, 'I would, but I need the eggs.'  Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships.  They're totally irrational and crazy and absurd, but I guess we keep going through it because most of us need the eggs."
Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977

I spent most days of my collegiate career running.  I would take an hour out of my hectic schedule and just go.  I was free.  Running was that great balancing act in my life.  When classwork became too much, when working multiple jobs became tough, when girls became confusing, when student teaching became my full-time volunteer position, running was always there.  Running kept me honest and motivated.  When things would pile up out of control, I would always make room for running.  And so it is with the most important things in our life.  You can tell where something fits into someone's life by the amount of time that they spend putting into it.  I would shift my schedule around so that running became paramount to everything else.  My life became defined by my running.  If someone wanted to plan a get-together, I would be sure to bring my running shoes and refrain from eating anything until after my run.  Going on vacations meant lots of extra socks and a smelly ride for anyone who sat too close to my footwear.  When something is that important in your life, that influential, that fun, it's hard to give it up.  There's something about it that I just can't quit.  Yes, perhaps all the joy and thrill has been sucked out of a 4x1600 repeat workout, but there's nothing quite like lacing up the Brooks Dyads, forgetting the watch, and heading out on the trail on a beautiful fall afternoon.  Or throwing on the longsleeve and woolen cap and heading out for an 8-miler on a still and dark winter's night, the snow pure and white and crunchy.  Those are the things that keep me coming back.  While running could sometimes be exasperating, frustrating, brutal, and painful, I couldn't change the experiences gained for anything.  With running, sometimes we're at our best and feel like nothing could stop us, and other times we're at our worst, dehydrated and too many miles from home, every step feeling one step closer to the grave.  Sometimes I've stopped on the side of the road and thrown up my hands and decided to quit forever.  Nothing, I thought, was worth this.  I cursed myself for putting my body through this torture.  It seemed pointless.  Running through downpours and snowdrifts, through traffic and noise...it can be a rough experience.  And yet I keep coming back.  I'm not the only one.  There's something about it.  It's that feeling you get when you just return from a truly fantastic run.  It's unforgettable.  Your day gets better.  Life gets better.  It's the reason you keep going out there, day after day.  It can be hard.  And other times...it's beautiful.

And so it goes with any relationship...