The Expendables...2

It's finally time for The Expendables 2 preview!  Yes, this is only a preview...I haven't even seen the movie yet.  Think about how exciting the review is going to be!

I used to go to the movies all the time when I was younger.  I was also a dweeb and used to keep track of all the movies I saw.  I would write down the date I saw it, the movie stars in it, and the rating that I thought it deserved.  I remember when I was in 8th or 9th grade and I saw 26 movies in a year.  The next year I saw 33!  I couldn't drive, I didn't have a job, and yet I used my non-existent cash flow to spend time in a dark room a few times a month.  Looking back, I still have no idea how I paid for all those flicks.  The moral of the story, however, is that I've always had a love for movies, and it definitely manifested itself during my bizarre adolescent days when I was at my pubescent best.

In the past few years I have been frequenting the cinema much less.  With the exception of the Harry Potter movies and a select few others, the thrill and excitement associated with movie going has essentially disintegrated.  It's not like I'm longer fraught with wonderment at the concept of well-made films, but it seems like mainstream Hollywood is no longer trying.  It's all about the next great special-effects driven moneymaking sequel.  Case in point is the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.  The first movie was quite good, with some startlingly impressive performances and a unique story full of whimsy and just the right amount of action and adventure.  But then the sequels came out, one by one, with nothing new to add.  The same people, sailing the same waters, acting the same way, jumping and yelling and fighting in the exact same fashion.  I'd already seen this movie!  Is it really worth the $10 (!!!) that I'd be plopping down, sans any splurging on popcorn or drinks?  Increasingly my answer has been "no."  A resounding and emphatic "no" in fact.  If my memory serves me correctly, I've only been to three films thus far this year.  I saw Titanic 3D because some girl I knew wanted to go, Touchback with Kurt Russell because it was filmed in my hometown, and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter because Abe got destroyed by a horse!  That's it.  As you can see, I've become particularly choosy with my movies.  Perhaps not in terms of quality or anything like that, but when I go to a movie now there's got to be a reason.  The Expendables 2, luckily, has about 1000 reasons to see it.

How could I refuse to see a Sly Stallone movie?  He is Rocky, Rambo, and the guy from Cliffhanger.  He is the American embodiment of what it takes to be a man.  I'm pretty sure I would not be an American male if I did not see this film.  And then there's Jason Statham, the best that the Brits have (minus James Bond of course).  Dolph Lundgren, alias Ivan Drago, Apollo Creed's murderer?  Jet Li, the poor man's Jackie Chan (with much better moves?)  Stone Cold Steve Austin?  Terry Crews, who spent the first film killing every single person in South America?  And I haven't even mentioned the Governator, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, JCVD, or Mr. Miley Cyrus!  All that testosterone in one film?  I went to see the first one at midnight on the day that it came out.  I was so impressed by the all-star cast that Sly was able to assemble, and wanted to spend the rest of the night in that movie theater, watching good triumph over evil.  And now, two years later, here we are, gearing up for yet another go round with the men who keep this world safe for patriotism!

Why are movies like this so endearing to me?  What is it about mindless action films that don't take themselves too seriously that drags me in and refuses to let go?  Why will I go see the aforementioned Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Cowboys & Aliens and refuse to go see Avatar or The Avengers? The Expendables and movies like it don't, at least in my mind, try to be anything that they're not.  They're not made to bring in the dollars or be presented in 3D or anything like that.  To me, they're just good old fashioned entertainment.  It's not like I don't like the low-key thinking-man's movies i.e. Woody Allen flicks.  In fact, I like them a lot more!  But on the small screen, where I can focus and be in control of all the extraneous factors and really dissect the movie in a critical manner.  But those goofy action films, where Harrison Ford plays a cowboy opposite James Bond himself, or Sly continues to defy the odds north of 60? Sign me up, and let me see it on the mega-screen!  I could use a bit of entertainment.