I was talking to one of my roommates a few minutes ago about love and the next step. Sometimes I vacillate about my intended journey. I want one thing one minute and something completely different the next. Those feelings are returned, but only at odd intervals, leaving me further confused and addled about the direction of my mind. A lot of times we think that our lives should be planned out. Everything that we should do needs to be measured carefully, lest we regret it later in life. We don't want to be stuck in a career we hate or living in a place we despise or, heaven forbid, being with someone that may be wrong for us. So we wait and search and seek and put off. We need to be certain because, we think, there is only one shot, one chance for a perfect life. We don't want to settle.
But it's equally difficult to be thinking about "what if." And that's sort of what my buddy was talking about today. When you find someone that you really could be with, who makes you happy and you can connect with on a deeper level, you know you're onto something good. Build on it. Real love is all about that connection, that complete giving up of self, and uncertainty. That last part really stuck with me. It's uncertainty. We're never going to be completely sure - there're going to be second guesses. But it's going to be from both parties. If you can find someone to be uncertain with, then it has a chance. That's love.
We don't know what it's going to bring. Ever. We don't know anything about the future. We can plan, but how often do our ideas come to fruition? There's going to be that sense of chance, that feeling of uncertainty. But sharing that with someone else...love.
I wasn't expecting to have a talk like that with my roommate, but it was very welcome and most appreciated. Thanks big guy.
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