Things, it seems, have started to settle down. I am beginning to see through the dust. Classes are becoming easier to prepare for and seem to be going better. I am feeling pretty in control in the classroom and don't exactly hate going into work everyday (though I don't necessarily love it either). And as for everything else...
I was pretty messed up there. For good reason. I had let myself get away from myself. But I know that this train can get back on track. It takes confidence, strength, and the ability to see the difference between what I want and what I need. I'm at that point right now. I'm happy. But is it short-term? What is the long-term plan? What comes next? Disillusionment has set in. Actually, it's only disillusionment if that's the way that I choose to look at it. If I put my other pair of glasses on and look at it through a different lens, it becomes a sort of liberation. So which is it? Break away from the comfort and joy, or become accepting of whatever else may be there? It doesn't make sense I'm sure. We're pretty much talking all rhetorical here. Or are we?
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